So when I can’t sleep, I like to watch Big Cat Diaries.* My television was on Animal Planet when I got home from work last night. I got sucked in to two shows that America is missing out on…The Snake Man (I think. About a family in West Virginia. The dad is a snake handler. He holds church services while shaking and handling poisonous snakes…as long as God “moves on him”. But it’s actually kind of sweet because it’s so obvious when he and his wife look at each other that they are really in love. And he says “owchair” which from what I can tell translates to “out there.”) and American Stuffers (THIS GUY IN ARKANSAS STUFFS PEOPLE’S PETS THAT HAVE DIED. WHAT THE HOLY FUCK??!). The point of this rambly post I guess is to share what I think are the top three names in the world, which I never knew existed until I watched these shows:

1. Donda (Not to be confused with Donna. Or Wanda.)
2. LaDawn
3. Verlin

*That’s sort of a lie. I love nature shows all the time. Even though I’ve seen every episode of Wild Pacific about 17 times, I will watch it over anything else. #Nerd.